Mar 20, 2015 - Feelings    No Comments

Things I Would Do Differently if I Decided to Have Another Baby

Botez Eric Rafael

I’ve been thinking these days about things I would do different if we decided to have another baby. Probably because there are a lot of friends asking me when my next will come. So I’m putting aside our topic about traveling with a toddler for a bit. May is nowhere near us, so I’ll have plenty of time to write about our luggage.

I’ve been thinking about another baby since the day Eric was born, and that I don’t really want one. Things changed after he was born, and even if I always wanted two kids, after I saw him and fell in love with him, I wouldn’t want to split the time I spend with him in 2, or more at first, as a baby needs more attention, and I don’t want to miss out. There are a lot of other reasons as well, not having help, doing 90% of things by myself, it’s hard, I’ll admit that.

Also, 2 babies would make it harder to move around, and travel, and that is one of my husband’s dreams and would be a great thing for Eric too. Eric is getting pretty heavy, and it will get harder for us to carry him when he will get tired and carry a baby too. At least now we can switch when it gets too much.

I think our little family is perfect the way it is. We, for now, don’t need things to get harder, I am still waiting for things to get easier.

I did come up with things why I SHOULD have another baby, but still doesn’t weight as much as my first reason of not having one. The reasons are selfish, and more for me, so until I find some good enough reason to bring another baby into this world, I can’t do it.

One of the reasons is the fact that I loved being pregnant. I didn’t gained too much weight, no really bad symptoms, none that I couldn’t overcome them, and I really loved my belly. I also would love to have a girl, to see how she would look like, and I think I will be a bit disappointed if it was a boy, at first. I did some research about things I can do to get my chances up if I want a girl, but nothing is 100% sure.

I would love some Lamaze courses before this too, it will help me relax and think about what my body says to me while I give birth.

Another reason is that I want to give a more real chance to exclusively breastfeed. I had to supplement with Eric so I really want to keep strong and do it right.

The final reason and the most important one is that I would want a natural water birth (which means NO meds) and I would do things way different than my C-section. This was my greatest wish before Eric too (except meds, I though I couldn’t do it without), but I was under the impression that my eye sight would make things impossible for me to give birth to Eric without putting my eyes in grave danger, some mentioned blindness too, but that is not the case.

But in the case I do decide to have another baby I would want to have my natural water birth, instead of a C-section, which is called VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section) without any kind of medication.

I would want my water to be broken naturally, and no episiotomy. I would want to be free to move around, not stuck on a OB table, and embrace my contractions in the warm water without any Epidural. I’ve heard is best when you go thru a VBAC as you need to feel if the C-section cuts are going to rupture, that is always a risk, and also I will need my body to feel when it’s time to push. And no Pitocin either, that is supposed to help with dilatation, but it’s assumed to increase the pain you will feel.

They should not use any object to pull Eric out and I would want for them to delay the cord clamping, as recent studies show that important fluids are still on their way to the baby. Immediately after birth I would want skin-on-skin contact and a chance to breastfeed right away, so they will need to delay the examination too.

After everyone settles down and they do what they need to do with him, measure, weight and other tests and vaccines, I would want for him to never leave my sight. Eric was in my room most of the time, but only during the day, but I was in no way fit enough to hold him because my cut hurt really bad and I couldn’t pick him up. So now I think I would be able to take care of him from the start, only needing advise from time to time. This will give me a great start at breastfeeding too.

I would LOVE to have a pregnancy photo shooting done and newborn photos as well.

I’m not even close to being ready for another baby, I want to want a baby like I wanted Eric, and when I’m ready for that, and ready to accept that there are more chances for it to be a boy, and looking forward to any gender, I will be ready to go. Until then, I’m all Eric’s.

But these reasons and the things I would want to do, make me say MAYBE instead of NEVER.

What are your reason for deciding on another baby? And what would you do differently?

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