Eric Rafael, born July 2nd, 2013 at 35 weeks and 2 days at 9:08 PM. We were on or way to our godmother with some cookies freshly baked and he put his legs through my membranes and broke my water in the middle of the street at around 7 PM. I made a small pool under me like you see in the movies. He run out of space apparently. Luckily we were close to our destination and our sweet godmother picked us up.
We tried to stay positive on our way to the hospital, which took us less than we expected. Called my doctor and she said she’ll come after she hears the results of my monitoring. I arrived there and told the receptionist my water broke, she smiled and sent me to the on call doctor. The nurse smiled at me too and then asked what week am I in. When she heard 35 her smile disappeared. She put an IV on to take some blood and put the cardiotocogram monitor on my belly.
The on call doctor came in and checked my cervix, I suppose. She then called my doctor and said she could feel his feet already. Some contraction started and suddenly the relaxed state I was in disappeared and I started shaking like I was cold. This memories are very blurry. I know my husband and mother started filling some paperwork, which I found later they didn’t had time to finish and they only signed as I was on my way to the operating room. The room was filled with girls, nurses, anesthesiologist and my doctor, who were all chatting and complementing my hair and asking me questions, completely equipped and ready to go. They explained some paper work I had to sign but wasn’t time for me to read them, and apologized for the unusual situation.
I didn’t think for a second that I was an emergency. Everybody kept smiling and keeping calm, but doing things very fast, I realize this just now. I tried my best to keep myself from shaking while they were putting a needle through my back, but I couldn’t stay still when the needle punctured my back because I was focusing on not shaking.
A nurse asked why I was shaking and I said because of fear, I guess. I didn’t even know, and is still a mystery. I started feeling what they were doing, but no pain of course. I heard my doctor say his umbilical cord is twice around his neck, so I was right about that. Baby wanted to turn with his head down but couldn’t because he was tied to the umbilical cord and when he tried his heart rate went down. I read somewhere that a mothers instinct is more powerful than any tests mechanism in the world. They couldn’t see his umbilical cord around his neck at the ultrasound, but I knew it was there.
They took him out and I didn’t hear him cry and got scared. But my doctors face appeared after the sheet and told me baby was fine. Soon after that I heard him cry and I thought he sounded like a kitten. They brought him to my face and let me kiss him and tears run on my face because that was the happiest I felt in my entire life. He had the softest skin I ever touched and I couldn’t say just then if he looked like my husband, but I know the staff in the operating room was sad he didn’t had curly hair. For me he just looked like a baby. Maybe I was more happy to know he was safe and healthy, but I can’t say he is beautiful. He simply is perfect! He has all his fingers, toes, normal ears, nose, eyes and mouth, and that is just what I wished for, a normal looking but healthy boy.
He weighted 2,530 kg and measured 45 cm. He scored 9 and he didn’t need an oxygen mask. He tried his best, this little guy, but couldn’t stay there any longer. He is now 2 weeks old and gaining weight fast. He had some jaundice and we had to stay 3 more days in the hospital because he was suspected of having an infection, and was put on antibiotics.
He spent a lot of the day time in my room, with me and my husband. Nurses came in and explained how to change his dipper, how to feed him, how to give him a bath and clean his navel, how to burp him. And every question we had got answered.
My recovery was a little slower than they expected. I was in so much pain, when they thought I was ready to get up and walk to the bathroom they couldn’t be more wrong, because I fainted. I usually faint when I feel too much pain and the menstrual cramping I had was the worst I had experienced because it didn’t go away, even with all the epidural shots they gave me. But after I called the nurse in charge more than 5 times over night she gave up and put me on inflammatory IV. After that I didn’t need anything for more than 10 hours, and I finally could get out of bed and use the bathroom, and I’m not going to tell you what I had to do the previous night for that.
I am still scared of him. I somehow know what he needs and I try to breastfeed him as much as I can but he needs supplements too because I can’t produce as much as he wants. I fear every minute for him and I wish he could tell me he is fine once in a while. This probably gave the panic attacks I have sometime. They come and go, but don’t last too long as I try to focus on other stuff and not the fear I’m feeling, but I feel week because of them, and I want to be strong for my baby.
I love him with all my heart. I loved him since he was in my belly, and when I saw his little face it felt odd, it felt like I knew him for so long and his face was so familiar, I just knew he was mine and I had no doubt about how much I will love that little wrinkled face of his forever.