Browsing "Feelings"
Nov 8, 2012 - Feelings, Health    No Comments

The Days Before Conceiving

So today is my first day of ovulation, according to the calculator on my side bar. I started last night, just in case, but the last few days I spent preparing and making sure everything will be ok during the next days.

Monday I went to a gynecologist consult. She took an ultrasound of my ovaries. She complimented them, which was awkward to say thanks too, she said she doesn’t usually have patients like me, they usually come because they have a problem, not when they are healthy and want to stay that way.

According to her the pills I took to prevent unwanted pregnancy, which was called Logest, can cause breast fibroid, which I have, but is not that big, and my doctor had for the same reason, only hers was 7 cm.

My uterus is a little small, only 4 cm, she would prefer it to be at least 4 and a half, but there are pills to stretch it if necessary. Finally she recommended some tests before pregnancy, even if my doctor said there was no need for any special tests. I already did them and yesterday I got the results.

My RH is positive, which is good and every other test is ok, but it would’ve been better if I tested positive to Toxoplasmosis as well. Testing Negative, as I did, means that I did not had it so I didn’t developed antibodies for this disease that would’ve helped me not to get it when I’m pregnant. So now I really do need to protect myself from the cats, in order to do that we have to tell the mother-in-law that we can’t eat on her tables where the cats walk casually whenever they want.

Which means we have to tell her we are trying, which I don’t want to do cuz I don’t like when she starts giving advices and acts like she knows it all. Don’t get me wrong, yes, she did gave birth to my husbands so she has and advantage, but she also told the story about when she craved a cigar on her way to giving birth and she smoked right before entering the hospital. So how can I listen to any advice from her?

My husband wants me to go to Bucharest, the capital, where my mom lives, to do some more tests and find a good doctor that will help me trough the pregnancy and also giving birth there. I want that too, even if it is going to be hard to travel, the maternity here looks like a horror hospital.

I have to have a back-up here, and I like the gynecologist I went to, even if she is a little young, but I’m too scared to even think of entering that hospitals doors. My plan is to go to Bucharest a month before due date so I will be there in case of anything happens sooner than it has to, but before that month, if it is something that the doctor here can handle I rather stay cuz is expensive to travel back and forth all the time.

I have four more days of ovulation. On 1st of December I will take my first pregnancy test, and I will have to get busy to take my mind off it till then. On 13th November is my birthday so I can fill my time with that for a while. I can’t wait to find out! I keep my fingers crossed. Wish me luck!

Oct 31, 2012 - Feelings    No Comments

The Mother-in-law Stress Factor

I know how important stress is to a pregnancy and I was having doubts about a future baby because of my mother-in-law. She has thyroid problems and sometimes we have huge fights over things that don’t make any sense. And is very hard for me to keep calm and don’t fight back because I don’t want to be like her. Words can hurt and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later, because we live in the same house and it will be more difficult to see each other from that point.

So she is illogical, I can’t say anything to her and the stress is building inside. I am afraid because there are times when I burst into tears and walk away from her and can’t keep myself together, and if NOW I can’t handle her, how it will be when my hormones will be through the sky and she will be nagging on my head all day?

So I have a strategy. I was thinking I can pretend sick all the time and eat in my room, not with her and the grandmother, like we use to, and if she starts to say something nasty I will walk away excusing myself to the bathroom, you know, bladder problems.

She was the most stressful factor at and before our wedding and she always had something bad to say about anything, like: Why do you need a photographer, everybody has their own camera now and you can take the pictures they are making, don’t waste your money, no one will even watch the photos. Or why do you want a video too, no one will watch that either. Or why do you need decorations on your seats and tablecloths and flowers on the tables, the restaurant is pretty enough. Or why do you need a cake no one stays till the end. Or why do you need a figurine on the cake, no one will notice.

Why do you need DJs when you can put some music from your laptop, you have plenty of songs. Please hurry up with the first course, I can’t wait till 8 o’clock, when people arrive, I haven’t eaten all day, I wanted to save myself. And so on, and so on. Tell me I’m crazy and I’ll leave the poor lady alone.

I hope I’ll be able to ignore her and keep myself away from her evilness and her desire to find bad things in everything, so me and the baby will be ok till the end. I will surround myself with good people, beautiful things and positive energy and it will have a greater impact on the pregnancy than her irritating personality. Wish me luck!

Oct 19, 2012 - Feelings    No Comments

I Decided to Become a Mom

I’m 27 years old, I am married for a year and 4 moths, I know my husband for 7 and a half years, and we decided that is time to have a baby. So, I’m not pregnant, yet, but I am getting there. I wanted to be sure that I can do it by myself before we started this. Emotionally preparing myself for this was a bit hard, I had to think like a single mom because the truth is I don’t expect much help from anyone, so I will do all the hard work.

My mom, the single person who I would trust leaving my baby with, is at 350 km away, in my hometown, where she has a job.

My mother-in-law is taking care of her mother who had a stroke and she needs a little support from now and then, and they both live with us in another part of the house, and she is also not in good health, but to be short, I don’t trust her. She is lazy and complaining all the time about not having time to cook, even if she sits all day, nothing else to do but playing Heroes at the computer. She has bad eyes so I just imagine her making the RIGHT formula for my baby in time.

My husband is a sweet, hard-working, man. He is working from home but he is very focused on the time he spends working because is even harder when you are your own boss. I can trust our child in his hands, but I don’t think I could handle his complains about being tired so I would do it myself most of the time leaving the job of making money for our family in his hands. I have a little coffee shop in a small town, so I am my own boss too, but I will gladly leave the business for a while.

I don’t know if I will be a good mom, I didn’t want to answer that question before we decided to do it, because that is not the correct question, the good one is: Am I ready to try to be a mom? So to that the answer is yes, I am ready to try. I am scared and I’m expecting to be hard, tiring, chaotic, overwhelming but I’m sure I will not regret any moment of it and it will also be the most beautiful thing I will accomplish in my life.