Archive from October, 2012
Oct 31, 2012 - Feelings    No Comments

The Mother-in-law Stress Factor

I know how important stress is to a pregnancy and I was having doubts about a future baby because of my mother-in-law. She has thyroid problems and sometimes we have huge fights over things that don’t make any sense. And is very hard for me to keep calm and don’t fight back because I don’t want to be like her. Words can hurt and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later, because we live in the same house and it will be more difficult to see each other from that point.

So she is illogical, I can’t say anything to her and the stress is building inside. I am afraid because there are times when I burst into tears and walk away from her and can’t keep myself together, and if NOW I can’t handle her, how it will be when my hormones will be through the sky and she will be nagging on my head all day?

So I have a strategy. I was thinking I can pretend sick all the time and eat in my room, not with her and the grandmother, like we use to, and if she starts to say something nasty I will walk away excusing myself to the bathroom, you know, bladder problems.

She was the most stressful factor at and before our wedding and she always had something bad to say about anything, like: Why do you need a photographer, everybody has their own camera now and you can take the pictures they are making, don’t waste your money, no one will even watch the photos. Or why do you want a video too, no one will watch that either. Or why do you need decorations on your seats and tablecloths and flowers on the tables, the restaurant is pretty enough. Or why do you need a cake no one stays till the end. Or why do you need a figurine on the cake, no one will notice.

Why do you need DJs when you can put some music from your laptop, you have plenty of songs. Please hurry up with the first course, I can’t wait till 8 o’clock, when people arrive, I haven’t eaten all day, I wanted to save myself. And so on, and so on. Tell me I’m crazy and I’ll leave the poor lady alone.

I hope I’ll be able to ignore her and keep myself away from her evilness and her desire to find bad things in everything, so me and the baby will be ok till the end. I will surround myself with good people, beautiful things and positive energy and it will have a greater impact on the pregnancy than her irritating personality. Wish me luck!

Oct 29, 2012 - Health    No Comments

Sport and Weight Before Pregnancy


I was kind of an athletic in high school. I enjoyed every gym class I took, played all sports I could and had straight As. I learned some Karate and went rowing for a couple of years. I even gained a bronze medal at Junior National Championships. But after high school I laid low, I was lazy to do any sport by my self but didn’t backed down if someone offered some basketball game or swimming or running.

Now on the other hand, I am so tired after work, I just want to relax, watch a movie or stay on internet. I always say to myself  “I should do some exercise” but never do because I’m too lazy tired. I want to have more energy and to do more stuff but I never do.

The fact is that I’m slim even without sport, I know is healthier and good for body and soul, but the fact that I don’t need to loose weight doesn’t motivate me to do sport. I’m 1,75 m and 58 kg, I eat as much as I want but lately I try to avoid chips, fast-food, sweets, soda and I eat cooked meals, but I don’t eat as much fruits as I would want to. I love fruit juice, from the market, but that’s not the same.

I am a little paranoid about weight but I’m too lazy to do anything. When I go over 60 kg I get a little scared that my young days are gone and I’m starting to get fat, so I cut some bad food from my usual diet, but that’s it. My husband wants to lose some weight but he’s not on any diet, only healthy and less food, no fast-food, no chips and less sweets, so I’m just following his lead.

I would not say no to any dancing night, I love dancing, I would like to take some lessons too, but I mostly dance at parties and I do it quite well, and that is exercises, right? So I will put myself some music from now on, at least it will get me in a happier mood, and maybe I will dance alone in the house sometimes. (Suuure I will)

I also take loooong strolls with my husband around town. We walk for one hour or more, fast walking, not slow walking, and is relaxing and active. Seeing as you are not allowed to do difficult sports during pregnancy I think walking is the way I’ll choose for my exercise. I would also like to try Yoga, is that a sport? However, I don’t think we have Yoga instructors in this town, so I will try to learn some exercises from internet. It shouldn’t be so hard, right?

If you have some pointers on any other casual exercises, I wanna know!

Oct 26, 2012 - Health    No Comments

Smoking, Coffee and Alcohol in Pregnancy


I was a smoker for 3 years and quit for 4 years. I am against smoking during pregnancy, also I am prepared to avoid bar without good ventilation, after I get pregnant, because I don’t want to inhale someone else smoke either. I will not allow friends to smoke near me or in my house like I used before. I will be very strict about this because I have to be responsible for the baby’s healthy environment.

I am against coffee during pregnancy also, I heard it is bad, I know some will say is not THAT bad, but a little bad for me is enough to not take any risk. Luckily I don’t drink plain coffee, I only drink a cappuccino from time to time and I can easily give it up. I was wondering if decaf cappuccino has some negative effects so I started research.

I was fond of chicory instant coffee, that only tastes as coffee but is like a decaf, and I liked making cappuccino from this, but now I read that is very bad for pregnancy and it can be found in other coffee products too and has bad side effects. They also say that decaf coffee is not that safe either, even that regular coffee is better when you only drink a little cup a day, but then again, I don’t want to risk anything, so no more coffee or decaf for me after I get pregnant.

No more alcohol! I should stop to that sentence but I read some stuff about some doctors who again say a glass of red wine from time to time is not THAT bad. So why would they say that? Why would they offer the option of not being 100% safe and not drink alcohol? They also say that the wine has some positive effects on the body, so what? You can eat an apple and it will probably be the same thing. All I’m saying is that you can find some replacements, for the good nutrition you can get from the wine, in some aliments that don’t contain alcohol. Is not worth it, really!

They also say you should avoid drinking IF you wanna get pregnant, but that I didn’t wanted to do yet. I’m a social drinker and I know my limits, if I get dizzy I order a bottle of water, and I like red wine very much, but also beer and some strong alcohol too. I am determined to quit my social drinking too, but if I lust for some wine my husband is drinking I will get a sip, like putting my lips to the rim just to have a little taste of it. I will never get more than that, because I will have a bad opinion about myself if I can’t resist only 9 months without alcohol when I have the rest of my life to drink whatever I want, except when I breastfeed.

I make all this plans about what I should do, what I don’t want to do anymore and I’m so curious if I will keep the plans after I get pregnant. I am determined to do them now, but who knows what I will be like then.

Oct 24, 2012 - Health    No Comments

Toxoplasmosis in Pregnancy


My mother-in-law has two cats, I avoid them as much as I can, I rarely pet them, I don’t give them food and I don’t clean up after them, is her job to do that because they are not mine, right?

However the thing I fear the most is Toxoplasmosis, a dangerous disease if it affects me while I’m pregnant and the cats are one of the bearers, as I said in a previous post. So I can protect myself from them, but the problem is that my mother-in-law can not and probably will not.

She’s ok with them wandering around the table we eat on, walking around the kitchen we make our food in, keeping their open food cans in our fridge, next to our food, making their bathroom on the hallway where we keep the fridge and giving them food in their bathroom, but they could do whatever they want in their bathroom, except for the fact that we keep the washing machine there, and it’s used as a table for the cats food.

I don’t know how many times I found cat hair with my freshly washed clothes and even their food in the detergent drawer. The solution should be to poison the cats, no, just joking, it would be easier to move away from the house, which is silly to pay some rent when we have a half of a house just for us. The other solution, the one I’m working on, is to make another kitchen upstairs, with our own table, fridge and maybe even a washing machine. Unfortunately that is too expensive, but I would gladly settle with my own kitchen, at least I can have a clean cat-less table.

I was thinking to make a test for Toxoplasmosis so that I can know if it is dangerous or not to make a baby, but I don’t know if it matters in this stage.

Again the mother-in-law gives me more reason to panic about my future baby, I’m telling you, avoid all mother-in-laws when you’re pregnant. Cats too!

Oct 22, 2012 - Health    No Comments

10 Tips to Get Pregnant


Here are some tips and tricks to help you get; pregnant. Nobody knows the perfect recipe for this but this are some advises that will definitely not harm you if you follow them or just some of them and the chances will surely increase.

1. Stop the contraception

Of course I’m not talking about condoms or diaphragms, I’m talking about the pill. So you should stop taking them, at the end of the film, to prevent irregular bleeding, and a few months before you start trying for a baby.

2. Start taking Folic Acid

It is believed that this little pill helps prevent some possible birth defects. It is good to start a few months before trying and continue taking them after you succeeded at least till you get to the 13th week. You should ask a doctor for the right dosage but usually if the body thinks it’s too much Folic Acid it eliminates it.

If you have a healthy diet you don’t need to much vitamins during the pregnancy, but if the doctor prescribes you some, make sure they don’t contain large amounts of vitamin A. They discovered that too much of this vitamin is toxic for the baby and can cause malformations and complications at birth. But large amounts means over 3000 mcg and the prenatal vitamins usually contain like 750 mcg, so don’t take extras.

3. Avoid infections

Listeriosis: this is an infection that can cause abortion, prolonged pregnancy and diseases to the fetus in case you contact this during pregnancy. This disease was found in some aliments so that is why you should avoid: unpasteurized milk, pate made from meat (even fish) or vegetables, blue cheese, half cooked chicken (and mostly any half cooked food), fast-foods and ready-to-go salads.

Toxoplasmosis: This is caused by a parasite that regularly it doesn’t affect people. Almost 10% of adults can have it without them knowing it. But if this happens during pregnancy it may cause abortion and serious congenital defects. House animals (especially the cat) can carry the toxoplasmosis, but also fresh fruits, vegetables and salad that are not washed properly can be sources for this infection.
Some protection tips: Use gloves when you handle the garden and wash your hands every time. Ask someone else to take care of the cat and carefully wash the fruits and vegetables before eating them.

Smallpox: Can cause problems at the beginning of the pregnancy and you should avoid contaminated people, even if the chances to get it are lower if you already had it when you were a kid. If you have been in the presence of contaminated people you can take a blood test to check your immunity.

4. Avoid alcohol and cigarets

Alcohol can cause fertility problems to both partners. More than one or two glasses a day can cause difficulties in conception. If you are already pregnant, alcohol can cause development issues, malformations, mental handicap and prolonged pregnancy.

Smoking is harmful before and after the pregnancy. Smokers are more expose to abortion or premature birth and the newborns will have less weight at birth. Also second hand smoking damages the baby and can lead to the death of the baby.

5. Do some sport

Sport will help maintain your muscles in shape, a very needed aspect in a pregnancy, but it will also help you relax because the brain releases endorphins, a very useful chemical much needed to combat pain and stress.

During pregnancy you should be more careful with your exercises, be sure you stretch and don’t do any sudden moves, like jumps, and make sure you breath regularly, don’t overburden yourself.

6. Control your weight

Make sure you are at a right weight according to you height. If you are a little curvy, you should lose some kilo and cut some calories. However if you are too thin you should add to your diet some more vitamins that will help you gain some weight.

7. Don’t use any medication

Some toxic medications for the baby are: epilepsy drugs, those that contain vitamin A, antibiotics, chemotherapy medication, and any kind of radiation. Make sure you avoid any drugs before first trimester of pregnancy (up to 10 weeks)

8. Inform your doctor about your genetic diseases

Before you agree to start conceiving you should consult with your doctor about the genetic problems that runs in your family or in your husbands family. You will be informed of the risk you’ll take in making a baby or the solutions that can help you and your future baby.

9. Buy a pregnancy test

It is true that pregnancy tests can show a result very soon but try not to rush it sooner than a week after the time you were supposed to have your period.

10. Stress affects fertility

Is scientifically proven that stress has a negative influence in the quality of sperm and even the catching of the fertilized egg in the uterine wall. When the body is in a very stressful environment is too overwhelmed to assimilate the fertilized egg, eventually getting to a normal menstruation.

Even men can be affected by the stress, even the stress of the desire to have a baby can slimming the chances to impregnate.

So if I have trouble getting pregnant I know who to blame, my mother-in-law, but more on this, later.

So stay healthy and stress-free and you will have better chances at this!

Oct 20, 2012 - Health    No Comments

Health Before Expecting

I wanted to be in good health so that nothing can interfere when I do get pregnant. I had some teeth issues in the past and now I’m still seeing the dentist so that no tooth ache will bother me in the future, because I can’t imagine any work done in my mouth without using an anesthetic.

I also went to a lady gynecologist and she gave me thumbs up for other health issues. So for other future moms, a fibrocyst in your breast doesn’t prevent you to have a baby, and even to breastfeed. It’s a condition that affects over 60% of the women but most don’t even know is there. In most cases you don’t even have to remove it but make sure the lump is really a fibrocyst. Consult more than one doctor, have more than one ultrasound, and check it periodically for any changes might occur in the next 6 months. If it moves around is a good sign but let a doctor decide that.

I also made some blood tests to see if there is something it needs to be fixed. My doctor gave some folic acid to take before getting pregnant, and any, but at doctors recommendation, vitamins, calcium and magnesium are welcomed to strengthen you future “room” of the baby.

So that is that about me preparing the womb and a healthy environment for my future baby. For all the future moms in the world, be safe and have fun being pregnant. (I wonder if I’ll think the same when the nausea will hit).

Oct 19, 2012 - Feelings    No Comments

I Decided to Become a Mom


I’m 27 years old, I am married for a year and 4 moths, I know my husband for 7 and a half years, and we decided that is time to have a baby. So, I’m not pregnant, yet, but I am getting there. I wanted to be sure that I can do it by myself before we started this. Emotionally preparing myself for this was a bit hard, I had to think like a single mom because the truth is I don’t expect much help from anyone, so I will do all the hard work.

My mom, the single person who I would trust leaving my baby with, is at 350 km away, in my hometown, where she has a job.

My mother-in-law is taking care of her mother who had a stroke and she needs a little support from now and then, and they both live with us in another part of the house, and she is also not in good health, but to be short, I don’t trust her. She is lazy and complaining all the time about not having time to cook, even if she sits all day, nothing else to do but playing Heroes at the computer. She has bad eyes so I just imagine her making the RIGHT formula for my baby in time.

My husband is a sweet, hard-working, man. He is working from home but he is very focused on the time he spends working because is even harder when you are your own boss. I can trust our child in his hands, but I don’t think I could handle his complains about being tired so I would do it myself most of the time leaving the job of making money for our family in his hands. I have a little coffee shop in a small town, so I am my own boss too, but I will gladly leave the business for a while.

I don’t know if I will be a good mom, I didn’t want to answer that question before we decided to do it, because that is not the correct question, the good one is: Am I ready to try to be a mom? So to that the answer is yes, I am ready to try. I am scared and I’m expecting to be hard, tiring, chaotic, overwhelming but I’m sure I will not regret any moment of it and it will also be the most beautiful thing I will accomplish in my life.