So I told you my reasons why I would want another baby in a previous post, because I go by the saying “never say never”. I am open to think that the feelings I have now might change, people often change their minds, right? So I’m leaving that door open. But at the same time what I feel now makes me feel complete, like my family is right where it should be, and I don’t feel like something is missing.
My mommy feelings do not wake up every time I see a newborn, I DO want to squish and hug and kiss the little bundle of joy for a few minutes, maybe even an hour or more, but in the end it only makes me miss Eric and I feel guilty giving more attention to a baby than him, even if it’s just for a few minutes. You will probably want to say to me that having your own bundle of joy is different, I get that, but you also have to understand that in my opinion, even if we are able to fit more babies in our heart, the heart gets bigger every time, even if we love our babies in different ways because every baby is unique, I still think the time doesn’t double, and my attention would be cut in half.
So here are a few reasons why I’m done:
1. I already have 2 kids
No, I didn’t get pregnant without letting you know, but I always felt my other baby is my husband. He’s far off LIKE a baby, but he does need me to feed him, wash his clothes, my full attention when he has something important to say, quality time for just the 2 of us, which happens after Eric is asleep, hugs, kisses, reminding him to do things, like take his vitamins, take care of him when he has a cold. So in the end, it all still resumes at having more time.
2. It’s easier to travel
One of my husband’s dreams is to travel around the world, and as you would probably know, we went on a tour around Europe for 1 month, in May. We traveled in 11 cities and 6 countries and it was fun and tiring at the same time, but I loved it. I kept asking myself if I could squeeze another baby in my backpack, and I honestly couldn’t see any room for one. The selfies fit the 3 of us so perfect, caring Eric in turn with my husband, so we would be quicker, meant another baby would have slowed us down and made it harder and tiring for us.
3. Babies are expensive
Add the diapers, baby food and clothes and you’ll see what I’m talking about. 5-6 diapers a day, 2-3 jars of food if you are away, cuz you’ll probably make a lot of it at home (and some of it they will probably spit out), and clothes for every season, every year, cuz they grow fast, or at least autumn and spring will have almost the same clothes, if they don’t have growth spurts.
As I said before, the time does not double, or at least extend a bit. I would have to cut myself in two for me to be there for Eric and the new baby. And my heart would break if they would need me at the same time and I could not be there for one of them. Of course the baby will have priority, and that means Eric will suffer more for it. I don’t have much help, so he will have to deal with things alone, and I want to be there whenever he needs me. I don’t want to miss things in his life. I want to be there and watch over him even if he can handle things alone, I just want to see him do stuff, and not miss things like breathing, or walking, or running. No really, I love to see every smile he ever has at least till he grows up and runs away to kindergarten and school.
5. I would not be able to make both kids happy at the same time
When one sleeps and the other plays, then at some point one will wake another. One will have the toy the other has and wants, so they will fight. One will need their space and the other is in their way, or one will want their mommy/daddy at the same time the other does. They will share, Eric knows how to already, but it’s inevitable to make both kids happy when they will both want the same thing.
6. My family feels complete
I don’t feel I’m missing anyone! Photos are the way they should be, we have enough room for everyone, we would need an extra if a baby comes (of course we could make it work with what we have now, but why settle for less, when we are happy with more).
7. Eric is everything I ever wanted in a kid
Eric is sweet and loving, funny and kind, carrying and playful, social and smart, a momma’s and daddy’s boy. I never knew I wanted some of the things he has, but here I am loving every bit of him and stunned at how perfect he is. I’m never regretting his baby days and I never want for him to stay my baby forever, I look back at how much he evolved and I can’t wait for him to grow more and more and to see what he becomes. I don’t cry when I put away his baby clothes, I’m just in awe at how little he was and how much he grows every day.
I’m happy and grateful for what I have NOW, and can’t see myself a mother of two. But never say never, right?